Once day Sid awoke from a very deep sleep, he’d been tossing and turning most of the night and couldn’t understand why. Maybe it was something that he ate the previous day. Sid had been to see Greasy Jim and Dirty Mary who ran the bikers cafe down in Carharrack, for tea and biscuits the day before. Dirty Mary was well known for her home made cookies laced with Rum. They were really tasty and Sid had eaten more than he could count. Being an older bird he now had problems with his stomach, after years of neglect, and was feeling a bit of a bloater.

Anyway it was a new day and Sid thought of what he could do to occupy his time today. He scratched his head and picked his nose for a while, then, suddenly a massive idea popped into his head! ‘I know I’ll go ice skating’, Sid thought to himself. ‘ I do love racing around on the ice and it’s especially nice when I have one of those hot chocolates with the lovely mini marshmallows in. Food was always a major reason for doing anything in Sid’s life.

Before you could say whoopee do! Sid was on his bike and cruising down to the Eden Project. It was a crisp, cold day, just right for skating. Sid loved it when you breathed out into the cold air and it turned into beautiful little clouds. Sometimes when he fell over he would do a little botty burp as he landed with a thud. Everyone could see a little warm cloud rise in the air from his leathers, as he sat there with a naughty little smile on his face.

Sid turned up at the car park looking for a place to leave the harley. As he got down to lower parking spaces, close to the entrance he could see loads of bikes all in a row. ‘Oh yeh, looks like the gang are here, will be cool to see everyone again. Sid hired his skates and wobbled onto the ice. As he did a roar of laughter came from in the middle of the ice rink. Sid wasn’t to good at skating and it was the first time this year, so he was a bit wobbly at first. He tripped over straight away and fell beak first onto the ice. Another skater went flying as Sid tried to stop himself from falling, grabbing onto their legs as he went down.

After a while Sid was now going round fairly smoothly, a bit shaky but at least he was moving. He got to the middle and noticed the gang all chatting. There was Greasy Jim wearing his crotchless leathers and having a good scrath, Dirty Mary who had come in bright pink leathers with false boobies on. Joanna and Liam were speeding round the ice backwards on one leg. They were wearing long red leather trench coats that flowed behind them. Mark, Sally and Livvy were all here as well. Mark was in his one peice swimming suit with a little furry bit to keep his manhood warm and Sally and Liv’s were wearing red leather jogging suits. Annie was showing off her new, white, thigh length leather skating boots.

The whole gang decided to join in a conga and skate round the ice together. The idea was to see how many people they could get to join in. At first it was just the gang, then more and more people joined on the end until everyone who was on the ice was part of the conga chain. Singing and laughter rang out from the little valley, you could here it for miles. And then, suddenly Sid slipped. It started a chain re-action. Sid went down first, his head bashing into Annie’s bottom, she in turn caught greasy and Dirty Mary who fell together in a pile, this caused Joanna and Liam to flip head over heels. They landed in front of Mark who tripped and skidded down the ice on his front taking off all his fury bits, which made things very uncomfortable. Sally and Liv’s laughed so much they fell over on their bums. Within minutes everyone was in a big pile on the floor.

Unfortunately Sid ended up in the middle underneath everyone, the pressure was too great with all these people pressing on his little tummy. First of a little squeak rang out, then a rumble and finally a gust of the biggest proportions. A fart erupted from the pile of bodies that lay strewn around the ice, forming a massive, smelly cloud that lingered in the frozen air for ages. All was quiet for a moment, then Sid clambered to his feet, fighting his way through choking gas and shouted ‘Who’s for a hot choccy and marshmallows then.

The End