It was a cold and windy evening in the Southwest. The wind was howling like an owl in the night, and rain was lashing against the lighthouse window. Sid was sitting on the sofa with a hot cuppa coffee laced with some Tia Maria. Obviously stirred, not shaken. And just about to tuck into a plate of his favourite fish ‘n’ chips.

Sid was watching telly and his favourite programme was on. It was Corrie night and Roy Cropper was down by the canal waiting for a nest of Pipistrelle Bats to come to life. ‘Poor old Roy’ thought SCG to himself, ‘he’s gonna be sitting there in the cold waiting for those bats for ages, I’ve got an idea, I think I might be able to help him out.

Before you could say hows your father SCG was on the secret phone to GJ. ‘Hi mate do you have any way to get me onto the streets of Corrie as fast as you can’? said SCG in a muffled voice, as he still had a mouth full of fish, and was struggling with a bone that had got caught. GJ was delighted to hear from SCG and couldn’t control his excitement at the prospect of a new adventure.

‘It’s funny you ask that’ said GJ, ‘if you come round to the secret hide away, I think you’ll be amazed. Well Sid was straddling his harley before GJ had finished saying come round. He ripped through the cold dark night and within a few minutes was outside GJ’s secret hide away. DM came to the door and told Sid that GJ was down in the lock-up getting his latest gadget fired up. She pushed a warm cup of tea and a cookie into his hands and said ‘you better go through my handsome’.

Sid followed a narrow path down to the end of the garden, guided by the light that was coming from the open door of the lock-up. There was a strange humming sound, that was throbbing quiet then loud. As he opened the door Sid could just make out in the dim light, GJ sitting on a funny contraption. It looked like a sit on lawn mower, but it had all these wires and things coming out from all angles. ‘ Hi GJ’ said said as he approached the machine with caution ‘what you got here then’. GJ had a half crazy smile on his face and said the Sid, ‘take a seat next to me we’re going for a ride’.

As you can imagine, Sid was a bit concerned, he had seen GJ like this before. It was when GJ was trying to fly to the moon in a dustbin that had a motor strapped to it and  all had done was put a perspex bubble on the top and sealed it with some left over bathroom sealant.

Sid climbed upon the vibrating contraption and took a seat next to GJ. ‘Hold on tight’ said GJ as he pushed his foot to the metal. The machine began to vibrate, but didn’t move an inch. Instead it made a more high pitched noise and was getting louder. GJ through a lever and everything went black for as moment. Suddenly they felt a thud and a jolt as the machine came to sudden stillness. You would would never believe what happened, it was a time machine and Sid and GJ were now sitting on the banks of the canal in Corrie, looking at Roy Cropper in the distance waiting for the bats.

Sid lept out of his seat and said to GJ ‘hold on a minute, something was wrong, I’m going in’. Tony Gordon was racing towards Roy with a very nasty look on his face. They began to argue and Sid could see that things were getting heated, something nasty was about to happen. Sid moved in close, he turned and fired a thunderous, side winding fart in the general direction, with the intention of separating the feuding men. Unfortunelately, Sids farts can be a bit unpredictable and often twirl as they rip from his underpants. This time things were not looking good. The fart hit Roy Cropper full in the face causing that weekly expression on the man’s face to re appear. The force of the blast knocked him into the canal. As Roy struggled in the water, shouting ‘I can’t swim, I can’t swim’ Sid was thinking on his feet. He looked up and could see Tony Gordon running from the scene. Sid took a deep breath and let rip a boomerang fart. So called because it would go in one direction, expand and then come back again. The cloud of methane took a course around Tony and blasted him back towards the canal, throwing him of balance and sending him diving into the cold water right where Roy had disappeared. After a moment Tony came to the surface and was clutching Roy by the neck. ‘My god, what happened’, shouted Tony as he pulled Roy from the canal. The director shouted ‘that’s a wrap’ and turned to see where the fart came from, but in the blink of an eye Sid and GJ were now back at the lock-up telling DM about what happened. They switched the light off and made their way up the garden path, laughing out loud. ‘Lets have one of DM’s very special nightcaps’ exclaimed Sid. ‘Another job well done’!

The End.