The big switch on

It was a chilly morning, but the sun was beaming in through the french blinds that covered the porthole of the old lighthouse window. As Sid lay in his bed the only thing that disturbed the cool silence was the sound of his chest gently rising, filling with cold air and then expelling it out as a cloud of mist accompanied by a shuddering but contented snore. Sid was in heaven, wrapped on his favourite duvet and unaware of what was about to unfold.

By now GJ had hooked Sid up with a new i-pone, only this was no ordinary phone. Like all the others it had all kinds of alerts etc., except this one was very special. GJ had rigged it up with a very tiny tingle that would give the owner a little jolt in the morning when it was time to get or in more extreme situations would slightly more firmly wake them from their slumber. Unfortunately, just like most things that were in the experimental stages of production of GJ’s arsenal of gadgets, there was a slight problem. Nothing dangerous, just unpredictable. Today was one of those days. The i-phone had slipped right down under the duvet and was resting, harmlessly next to Sid’s bottom, when suddenly a little light came on. At first it started flashing, then began to vibrate, with each passing moment getting more and more angry. Sid stirred slightly and sighed, turned over and went back to his favourite dream of bacon and eggs and a cup of tea. In the next breathe of cold air Sid let out a loud cry ‘oh sh**’ as he lept nearly 10 feet in the air, his bottom sizzling from contact with something very hot in the bed. He looked down to his favourite spot in the bed and the new i-phone was still jumping around, crackling angrily and making all kinds of hissing noises. Sid reached out gingerly and tried to pick it up. As he moved his hand closer it began to glow, his fingers just about touch it when electric current lept out and sent a spine tingling jolt up his arm causing Sid to fart violently.

His knees still trembling, Sid’s glanced across the room, searching for the old fashioned telephone, now sitting on the table. He walked over, picked it up and caressed for a moment. Not a tingle, ‘thank god’ he whispered to himself as he punched in GJ’s number.

Within moments Greasy Jim was on the other end of the phone speaking faster than Sid could translate the burbling noises. Sid asked in a slightly edgy voice, ‘whats wrong Jimbo’? and, ‘by the way the i-phone needs toning down just a tad on the emergency setting, I’ll bring it with me when I come over next’.

‘You gotta get over here fast, fast’ said GJ in a worried voice. ‘Something really bad has happened’. Well Sid didn’t ask questions he turned and slid down the fireman’s pole that had recently appeared right in the middle of his lounge, then landed on his beloved harley. The only thing that was constant in his life. He pressed the the old fashioned starter and awoke the beast that had a roar like no other.

Within a fleeting moment Sid was cruising towards the town centre, there was a gathering in the  square, thousands of people had turned out and were standing there patiently waiting for christmas switch on. GJ had told Sid to meet him there. Something was wrong. The christmas tree had been delivered but someone had stolen all the lights. What was worse Prince Charles was due to switch on the lights.

Sid and Gj arrived together one from each side of the square, both turned of their bikes and and the dust settled. For a moment Sid strolled around the empty tree, gently rubbing the sore spot on his bottom which had been so violently stung earlier on. He thought for a moment, looked across to Gj and gave him that naughty smile that says everything’s going to be ok. Sid whispered to GJ, then they turned, lept on their bikes. As they pulled away Sid turned and shouted over to PC (prince charles), ‘back in a mo bro, don’t panic’…

Sid and GJ sped away leaving the crowd wondering where they were going. It wasn’t far and within what seemed like only moments they were back. Sid was still on the harley but GJ was now driving his volkswagen transporter. Obviously highly modified and full of all kinds of gadgets.

Gj pulled up right next to PC and the christmas tree. ‘Don’t worry about a thing’ Sid said cheekily to old Charlie boy, ‘we’ll have it all sorted in a mo’. GJ jumped out of the van and opened the side doors and out fell tons and tons of different i-phones onto the floor. This carried on for a few moments creating a massive pile, all different colours. It took GJ so long to perfect the i-phone he gave to Sid it left him with thousands of wasted ones. It was great to finally have a use for them.

Sid stood tall and asked Charlie and the crowd to step back and cover their faces, things were going to get a bit windy. He took a couple of spins to get going, but after a while he was spinning like a top. This caused a whirlwind that grew taller and taller into the sky. GJ was able to control the direction of the wirlwind from within the van. Some kind of magnetic force surrounded the wind which hovered towards the i-phones, picking them up and sending up through the vortex. Gj directed the spiral of i-phones in the direction of the Christmas tree and with the use of an of switch was able to cut the force momentarily sending the phones flying towards the tree. As they left the wirlwind they became magnetised and clung to the branches of the tree, looking just like fairy lights.

Sid was smiling to himself because he had a wicked idea. He pulled out his own special i-phone and dialed up the secret security number. It took a couple of seconds but suddenly one after the other i-phones began to ring. After a few moments all the phones were ringing together. It was amazing because all the ringtones were set to play jingle bells.

Charlie boys was grinning from ear to ear and proudly proclaimed the christmas lights well and truly switched on. ‘Well done Sid’ said Charlie as he put one hand on his shoulder and shook his other hand firmly. Unfortunately Sid was feeling a bit delicate after spinning so much to create the wirlwind. He tried to step back,but Charlie clung on tighter, smiling in that innocent way, not knowing what was coming. Sid’s expression changed suddenly as looked at PC. “Sorry mate’ he said as dropped an nasty niff, which was followed by a thunderclap that rang out into the night. Charlie was forced back by the blast. ‘Oh my, Sid, that was a master blaster’ said Charlie ’shan’t forget this evening in a hurry, We’ll be in touch soon, see if we can’t give you a knighthood in your cracker’.

The crowd gave a big cheer as Sid and GJ disappeared as the dust settled. And their town was left with the a wicked christmas tree.

The End